Stop Paying Attention To What People Think and Speak About You

Does It Matter What People Speak About You? 

“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’. Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.” The most important thing in life is your self- confidence, if you have faith in yourself and sure of your success no setbacks can hinder your way. If you wish to grow and chase your dreams, stop paying attention to what people think and speak about you, just aim to carry yourself to the moment of no return. The people’s courts and trials are a continuum process of making endeavors to keep pulling you back and get you embroiled in the pangs of humiliation just to quell your creativity and stifle your aspirations. An aphorism of behaviorism goes as; “All civilizations need sheep to enslave and govern easily, lions aren’t required anywhere.” In essence, if you are mentally strong, resourceful, focused and determined there are more chances of rejection for you. So take rejection as a mark of your capability and strength, similarly at any point of time in your life if you feel people don’t show much acceptance towards you, take it in your stride and be proud of yourself.  Now let’s discuss how to keep others’ remarks and opinion at arm's length and maintain equipoise in all circumstances:

Learn to Ignore

When we adapt the laissez-faire attitude, we are less affected by others' insinuations. It’s a universal truth that you can never change others; you can only change yourself. So do it today! Stop paying attention to what others speak about you; you are not a clown or an ice-cream seller who can keep everyone happy. You are bound to keep yourself happy; neither one can be good (except family and friends) to you nor worst (except criminals); one can be good or worst only to oneself so learn to ignore those who don’t add any value to your life. Put in your honest efforts in your work, respect your individuality and stop bothering about people who judge you, people who are least interested in knowing what you know but very keen to know what you don’t know. They are never important in your life.

No Obligation to Hold Onto Those Who Don’t Accept You

Man is a gregarious animal and there are certain obligations on everyone as an integral part of society. Being respectful to others never means being timid and not able to express disagreement. We shouldn’t have obligations to hold onto those who don’t accept and appreciate us. There is a prevalent misconception that one should practice tolerance to sustain social and professional relations. Needless to say, the relations that demand extra modesty and carefulness; they are never relationships; they are simply connections between two individuals. And connections cannot demand obligations.

Gain Control on Your Thoughts

Research has proven that thoughts are not abstract always; they contribute to an overall development of your personality by materializing themselves and shaping your character. Our character governs our body and will power and determines our deeds as well as achievements. If we develop fear, doubt or anxiety towards the external factors and depend upon the circumstances for everything, we give birth to a weaker personality that always demands attention and external validation making it more vulnerable to the vitriol and judgments of others. On the contrary, gaining control on thoughts galvanizes your efforts to build up a stronger, undeterred, and exuberant personality.

Interesting Read: The Conundrum of Commitment with Self

Face Your Loss Alone; It’s None of Others’ Business

When the ace tennis player Arthur Ashe was on his death bed, losing his battle against AIDS in 1992, millions of his fans were grieved and expressed their despondency by asking him how God could choose him for an untimely departure from the world. To this, he replied with contentment, “All over the world, some million teenagers aspire to become tennis players. Of them, only a few thousand play some circuit and only a hundred or so play the grand slam. Finally, only two reach the final of Wimbledon. When I was standing with the trophy of Wimbledon in my hand, I never questioned God ‘Why me?’ And now what right do I have to ask God, why me?”

In The Pursuit of Gaining sympathy from others, too often we invite unsolicited advices and baseless blames for the losses we are suffering. The only way to keep such negative people at bay is to muster courage to face the loss alone with this faith in our heart that this ordeal is going to end soon and such adverse circumstances are not the fundamental part of our existence. These situations are just superficial aberrations and bouts of darkness which must be met with positivity, persistence and equanimity. There’s no other way round to deal with adversities and challenges in life. Making it a talk of the town will simply deteriorate your mental health and engulf you in a feeling of dejection.

Remind yourself everyday what you want to do in life, what are you doing and what’s obstructing you to achieve your goals. If get perturbed by the sarcastic remarks of neighbours, colleagues or any acquaintance make it clear to them that their opinion doesn’t hold any importance in your journey of success.

Mostly, we anticipate acceptance from others, we look at them for validation that we are fulfilled and doing every desired thing to make a meaningful existence for ourselves but get hurt when receive mean, judgmental and pretentious responses, so expecting any kind of external validation and appreciation is always futile and self-defeating in fact it can be detrimental for your mental and physical health. Ask yourself; how you are doing and how do you feel about your achievements and success. It is only YOU who matters the most and none can judge you so be just you, and accept the way you like to think about yourself.

Your constant efforts for your self-growth will never let you get deprived of the wholeness of your individuality and help you find solace and reassurance in the fact that ‘roses always bloom among the thorns’ so life is just the same, if people want to see only the thorns associated with you, let them do so; you are always there to adore and appreciate the roses, and you will remain forever to enjoy the fragrance of those roses.