As A Parent You Preach OR Perform?

Parenting is Practicing Good Habits, Not Preaching 

It is said that Parenthood is akin to seeing your heart beating outside your body for the rest of your life. It won’t be an exaggeration to say that parents can go to any extent to give a happy life to their children and gradually they become the only reason behind all their efforts and ambitions in personal and professional lives. In an attempt to give our best we tend to overlook the true responsibility of a parent. We strive to teach them the best values, social skills, honesty and altruism but we deny this fact that preaching won’t do much good but performing those traits and attributes will certainly make a difference.

Let's have a look if your parenting involves these practices-

Reading is the Best Gift:

As a teacher, I often meet parents and hear the question repetitively about how to inculcate reading habits in children. To this, my question to the parents is always the same: Do you read books and newspapers at home? Does your child know that you have a flair for reading? Not surprisingly, most of the mothers’ answers are NO. I would like to ask, “How children can engage in an activity they don’t observe in their daily life?” Here, mothers can be a strong role model for their children because they spend comparatively more time with kids than father and mothers are the first educator of children. That’s why we say ‘Mother tongue’ not father tongue. Children are keen observers of their surroundings and possess a stronger perception. They know you more than you know yourself. So, dear mothers start reading and see the difference, your children will soon join you. Buy good books and make them your friends. The house that doesn’t have a library belongs to poor and a room without books is like a body without soul.

Do You Have a Purpose in Your Life?

It’s only a parent’s duty to teach children about a clearly defined purpose in life. Please don’t expect anything exceptional from your children if you haven’t done something worth doing and ended up meandering through time and situations. If you blame your circumstances, your child will start doing the same. Make sure you support your children in understanding that it takes a lot of sacrifices, hard work, discipline and determination to nurture your hobbies into habits, habits into passion and finally passion into skills. If you have invested your honest efforts in pursuing your goals your certainly no need to teach how one has to toil oneself to achieve his goals and dreams and how one can make life meaningful.

Importance of (Self)-Discipline:

In the words of George Washington, “Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable.” Here I would like to add, these words hold true relevance with not just army but with our day to day life also. If you wish to teach discipline to your children, you have to inculcate it in yourself first. Ask these questions to yourself, and mull over: Do you keep a daily schedule? Do you devote equal energy and time to all your important tasks? It is very significant to critically analyze your own approach to discipline and diligence towards your duties and how you treat yourself. Respect your being and keep improving. Take care of your body, mind and soul so that it will reflect in your children as well.

Instill Fearlessness in Your Child:

Fearlessness doesn’t mean lack of fear or being overconfident in any situation, it means that you are able to conquer your fears and rise above. Share the anecdotes of your school and college life when you were caught in an embarrassing or challenging situation and how you dealt with it. How nervous or scared you were at that time and how that moment of fear taught you courage for the rest of your life. The most important fact to be discussed is: there’s nothing wrong in getting nervous or feeling less confident. Winston Churchill, a former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (1940-1945) had a long list of failures and lost his confidence many times but every time he fought back and proved his resilience. Make your children understand that neither the mistakes nor the victories should turn into impediments in the path for long-term goals.

Interesting Read: Never To Advise Adolescents

Building A Healthy Lifestyle:

As mentioned earlier, parent you are under a constant scrutiny and surveillance by your children. They see how diligently you make efforts to maintain your mental and physical well being and how important your health is for you. If you follow a fitness regime, yoga, meditation or jogging on a daily basis  and give a fixed time to your wellness trust me even if not today, tomorrow your children will be aware of their well being. If you are indulged in a sedentary life, spending most of your time with TV and mobiles the kids in the family will naturally be inclined to entertain themselves with all this. Avoid using mobile phones at home, when not necessary and be judicious if social media or online games are turning into an obsession for you. Children under the age of 10 learn all their lifetime habits from their parents and later get influenced by their peer group. Utilize this time at its best to motivate your child to lead a healthy life. 

Have Faith in Yourself:

Swami Vivekananda believed that only three things have precedence over everything if you wish to attain success and self realization in your life. These things are none other than: the unflinching faith in yourself, to have a positive approach in life; and to focus on one idea exclusively at a time. When your children observe you having an unshakable faith and determined on what you do and decide they will begin nurturing the same faith and trust in them. They grow as confident and resilient humans and will remain undeterred in odd situations. So rebuild your art of parenting with all these attributions.

Each and every individual is born with great potential and has the capability to steer the family ship. As a parent you must accept and believe that the more you become honest and transparent with a healthy goal in your life the more your children feel closer to you and find themselves imbued with all those skills and qualities that you ever wanted to see in them. And you never realize so effortless it will be!